P. G. Wodehouse

“The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Death #Sports #Humorous

“There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Friendship #Beautiful #Reading

“A certain critic -- for such men, I regret to say, do exist -- made the nasty remark about my last novel that it contained 'all the old Wodehouse characters under different names.' He has probably by now been eaten by bears, like the children who made mock of the prophet Elisha: but if he still survives he will not be able to make a similar charge against Summer Lightning. With my superior intelligence, I have out-generalled the man this time by putting in all the old Wodehouse characters under the same names. Pretty silly it will make him feel, I rather fancy.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Summer #Regret #Children

“The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Humorous #Numbers #Voice

“I always advise people never to give advice.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Inspirational #Humorous #Giving

“Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, "So, you're back from Moscow, eh?”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Might #Moscow #Said

“It ought to be a criminal offence for women to dye their hair. Especially red. What the devil do women do that sort of thing for?”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Hair #Devil #Red

“What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Cities #Yield #Temptation

“It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Life #Sorry #Humorous

“I never want to see anyone, and I never want to go anywhere or do anything. I just want to write.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Writing #Want

“As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Real #Giving #People

“Flowers are happy things.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Flower

“Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Hair #Red #Opinion

“One of the drawbacks to life is that it contains moments when one is compelled to tell the truth,”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Telling The Truth #Life Is #Moments

“I pressed down the mental accelerator. The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Ideas #Lemons

“Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Golf #Years #May

“Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Funny #Dark #Theatre

“Routine is the death to heroism.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Death #Routine #Heroism

“It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar to that of a man who drops a rose petal down the Grand Canyon of Arizona and listens for the echo.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Writing #Men #Echoes

“[He] saw that a peculiar expression had come into his nephew's face; an expression a little like that of a young hindu fakir who having settled himself on his first bed of spikes is beginning to wish that he had chosen one of the easier religions.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Expression #Nephew #Wish

“He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Inspirational #People #Intelligence

“Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Fate #Boxing #Gloves

“Always get to the dialogue as soon as possible. I always feel the thing to go for is speed. Nothing puts the reader off more than a big slab of prose at the start.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Speed #Dialogue #Prose

“Golf is the Great Mystery.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Golf #Mystery

“Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Humorous #Writing #Ladders

“Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Baby #Father #Sadness

“Luck is a goddess not to be coerced and forcibly wooed by those who seek her favours. From such masterful spirits she turns away. But it happens sometimes that, if we put our hand in hers with the humble trust of a little child, she will have pity on us, and not fail us in our hour of need.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Children #Humble #Good Luck

“I should think it extremely improbable that anyone ever wrote for money. Naturally, when he has written something, he wants to get as much for it as he can, but that is a very different thing from writing for money.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Writing #Thinking #Want

“I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping.”
-- P. G. Wodehouse

#Fate #Feelings #Fancy

“Employers are like horses — they require management.”